ThE rOaD nOt TaKeN.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Over the last two days, I have been busy paying respects at my wife's uncle's funeral. The last time we saw him was during CNY and although we had heard that he was not well, he told us he was taking medication and getting better.
I heard from my MIL that he was admitted to the hospital two weeks ago and this week, he finally passed away. DW was saddened by the news and you could tell from her face that she was quite surprised by the news. There was a little frustration as well because we only heard about it two days after he passed away.
As I had to attend an event in school until late in the evening, we only reached the funeral at about 10pm on Friday. Although I wasn't very close to DW's uncle, I tried to maintain a respectful silence, which was quite difficult when I didn't have a proper dinner. While DW helped to fold the paper ingots, I had to satisfy myself with some groundnuts. Fortunately, my MIL noticed my apparent hunger and helped me to get some food before I developed any gastric pains.
After the first night, DW told me with an ironic smile, that she hasn't seen some of her cousins for a long time and the only social opportunities seem to be either weddings or funerals. I told her that in this fast-pace lifestyle that we have, it is a miracle if a big extended family can ever stay together once the members have their own nuclear families. So most of us make do with these 'major' family events.
I was chatting with her the next day about how being at a funeral always gets me thinking about what I would like my own funeral to be like. She said I was being morbid but I think if we put aside our superstitious concerns, we should really take some time to considered how we want to go. If I had the blessing to live a full and fulfilled life, I wouldn't want my family to feel sad that I had reached the end of my journey. I would want them to share my happiness and celebrate that my life had some meaning. I don't want to be a candle that is blown out prematurely by the wind and never lit again.
So funerals do remind us of our mortality and how our lives are so short when compared to eternity, but if you are an optimist like me, you will be spurred on to make the most of this short time that we have been given, to live life fully (without regrets) and make your lives meaningful.
Don't be too concerned about your mistakes and failures to miss out on celebrating every little success! Go out and live!
Labels: funerals
